• Price£39,825
• We like...Ability, speed, looks
• We don't...Fiddly gadgets

The world’s moved on, leaving big-performance machines like the S5 behind. Once we’d have marvelled at its power and technical excellence, and left it at that. But the way things are now, you can’t help be troubled by owning a car that manages 22.7mpg or worse, or that pumps 298g/km of noxious fumes from its quadruple exhausts.

But if you can run such a fuel-hungry beast with a clear conscience, there’s plenty to enjoy. The 4.2 V8 motor at the heart of this sporting hot-shot is a marvel. Prod its throttle pedal and it leaps forward, giving out a throaty blare that is straight from the soundtrack of an Xbox 360 game. And driving the S5 is like bringing your favourite console-stirrer into the real world. The scenery blurs past too quickly and the steering, brakes and gears have the same twitch, twitch, snickety-snick responses. It’s as rapid as you’d ever want and the power’s on tap: 85% of what it can do is there at low engine revs.
Audi’s clever self adjusting four-wheel drive means it will blast from rest with scarcely a tyre chirp, while grip from its broad wheels will still hold through curves long after your courage has let go. Its brakes haul you to a stop in moments.

So it’s stupidly quick when you want. But when you don’t, it can ease along gently and without drama. And, while you’re feeling mellow, you’ll notice that its cabin is beautifully finished and restful. Road noise rarely intrudes and the ride, while firm and controlled, is never jarring enough to threaten your dentistry.
The cream leather inside our S5 looks retro-brash. But, fear not, other colours are available: you won’t need a chest wig or a Zapata ‘tache to look the part. You sit low and snug in its big front chairs and you can place the wheel and seat, millimetre-perfect. There’s a fair weight to each of the major controls but, unlike some rival cars, you won’t need to be buff to tame them.

The S5 is packed with kit, but working some of it will drive you nuts. The heated seats demand that you thumb an on/off button, then twiddle a dial and refer to a graphic on the dash display to pick between six settings. To release the handbrake, you must apply the foot brake, and then thumb a release catch on the centre tunnel next to the driver. Then to hold the car steady on a hill, you push a button immediately aft of the handbrake catch. We love gadgets when they’re clever and make life simpler. These don’t.

The S5 can, Audi says ‘comfortably accommodate four passengers, even on long trips.’ True, providing the rear two are children. But if they’re lanky adults, or stiff-hipped, they’ll struggle to stay comfortable over more than a few miles.

Of course, the S5’s great rival is BMW’s 3-series coupe, long a byword for superfast street-savvy genius. The Audi comes close to that great car’s power and agility, beats it on price, and trounces if for understated cool.
Buying an S5 has nothing to do with conscience, eco-concerns or even plain common sense. But if you want one – and you’re rich enough – it’s a wonderful thing.

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